I only kidnapped one of them. chill
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
