Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
