I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
