Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
