I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
