The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
How's work?
Spinning.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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