Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
