ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
