she was so not down for the gang bang
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
