I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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