I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you would pick up someone in the library
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize