would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
