the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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