Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
