if you like me you must not know who I am
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
