I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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