I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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