Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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