Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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