Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
