I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
