And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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