Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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