whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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