it hurts more in the daytime
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
