you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
