Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
