I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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