awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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