I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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