I think my vagina is haunted
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
