The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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