Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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