there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
