oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This is my gift to your gina
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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