I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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