Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
