Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
