Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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