had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
