This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
