Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
