once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
