Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
My feet surprised me
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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