Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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