just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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