Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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