so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
