what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
