# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
