You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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