I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
