Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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