Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
