Will you blow on my dice?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize