sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
someone owes me an orgasm
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
