I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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