mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think your dad took our porno
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
