either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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